Ben Wa Balls originated in Asia and were discovered by European travellers in the 16th century. They were designed to give men more pleasure during sex. However, it obviously didn’t take the women who were using them for the men very long to realize that it did the same thing for them. In the centuries to come Ben Wa Balls developed more of a female focus.

But what exactly are they ? They are balls ranging from marble size to golf size and are available in several different materials such as glass, metal, plastic, latex, and silicone. Each ball has a tiny weight inside of it that moves around, causing the balls to slightly vibrate. They also come stringed or separate. To use them, simply place them inside of you one at a time.

But why should you use them ? Ben Wa Balls are great for older women who are loosing muscle control and developing incontinence issues. By using the balls, you can build up your PC muscles, which will in turn give you better control. They are also a great investment for any woman who just had a baby and wants to tighten everything back up. You can just slip them in while you are vacuuming, running errands or going to work. However, I recommend you some time with them at home before venturing into public with them inside of you.

They also have sexual benefits. You can use them they way they were originally intended and incorporate them into your sexual routine. Having sex with your partner will never feel the same. The balls move around inside of you, igniting every inch of you while your partner thrusts. They are known to aid in and amp up G-spot, cervical and clitoral orgasms. Who doest want that ?

You can also use them for solo play. Whether you simply rock yourself to orgasm, use them in conjunction with a vibrator or dildo, they’ll definitely be a very different approach to masturbation.

But which ones should you get ? If you are nervous about them getting “lost” inside of you, go-go for the stringed versions. A string will hang out just like a tampon and ensure the retrieval is simple. If you are looking for them to float around more freely, go for the separated ones. Since cleanliness is important, I would opt for the glass or metal balls–they are much easier to clean and do not retain bacteria.

Now that you know, its time to give them a try. Head over to Adam & Eve and peruse their vast selection, you’re sure to find a pair that fits your fancy.

G

According to the National Institute of Medicine and the American Adacemy of Pain Medicine, there are over 116 Million people in the country suffering from chronic pain. Diagnoses of Fibromyalgia, lumbar back pain and daily (disabling) headaches are on the rise. Frighteningly, more than 50% of chronic pain sufferers feel they have NO control over their pain.  Add to that the stigma of ‘drug seaker’  that is prevailing among medical professionals and associated with patients legitimately needing narcotic medications to deal with their pain, and its no wonder they have no control over it.  Studies have shown that chronic pain sufferers not only have more trouble functioning daily, but also have cognitive impairments related to their pain; Forgettfulness, depression, difficulty completing structured tasks, and decrease in self-esteem, just to name a few.  More than 75% of chronic pain sufferers complained of decreased quality/enjoyment of their life, depression, trouble concentrating, difficulty sleeping, and decreased energy levels.

Not too many people know that after a traumatic accident, I ended up with a fused cervical-spine. It causes me many of the above symptoms, as well as frustration when I ‘cant’ do something.  I can honestly say there is not a day that goes by without some thought to the pain in my neck and back, headaches, and paresthesia in my hands, arms and jaw.  Anyone who has ever been tied in a restrictive position or suspended knows that while it doesnt always hurt, it is definitely not comfortable. Impact play by definition causes some degree of pain with every strike of a paddle, cane or flogger. So then the logical question would be, ‘Why the HELL do I <3 rope, suspensions, and impact play?’ when in theory all of those activities should exacerbate my pain symptoms, right?

For me, the answer would definitely be NO. The way your mind is wired, it focuses on whatever is hurting the most at any given moment. So while my body may be screaming with the ropes holding me immobile and the cane applied to my ass, the acute pain from those activies actually diminishes my chronic pain.  You gotta love how the brain works! In addition to the active pain I experience during play time, the endorphin rush I experience in the after-glow diminishes ANY pain I might have been feeling on that chronic level before hand.  My body moves easier, and without pain, for a little while anyway.

Let me also add the caveat that having a partner in tune with your body is a must.  They have to know what your body is capable of sustaining, and how to recognize when enough is enough. You, the bottom/submissive have to have total and unwavering faith in your partner to push you to the edge, then reel you back.  Jay has always been a trooper when dealing with my chronic pain issues, and is great to rub away the sore spots he inflicted as part of my aftercare.  Typically, this leaves in me in an enorphin-haze puddle in the middle of the bed where I can relax and let the endorphins do their work.  Yes, inevitably the pain returns, frequently with a bruise or sore spot to remind me of our play.  But sometimes, that helps my chronic pain too, as a sort of distraction, and a little anticipation for the next time.

Do I think BDSM play is the worlds answer to pain relief? Of course not! I use other strategies like yoga, relaxation/meditation, massage therapy (Im a junky) and am very interested in accupuncture. BUT, it is one way (of many I employ) that I deal with my pain.  It is the pain I CAN control that Im a junky for.

Biologically we all have pheremones. The are excreted by our bodies for a number of reasons, sex being the pertinent situation.

‘A pheromone (from Greek φέρω phero “to bear” + hormone from Greek ὁρμή – “impetus”) is a secreted or excreted chemical factor that triggers a social response in members of the same species. Pheromones are chemicals capable of acting outside the body of the secreting individual to impact the behavior of the receiving individual.^[1] There are alarm pheromones, food trail pheromones, sex pheromones, and many others that affect behavior or physiology.’

If you ask men (which I did, lol) or pick up that latest issue of Cosmo, confidence is frequently the ‘most sexy attribute a woman can possess.’ The same holds true for men in my opinion. If you strut into a room like you own it, you will instantly catch the ey of several people in the room, even if your presentation (read, looks) matters little. But, if the same person walks into a room, not making eye contact and assuming the wall flower position, the will barely gain notice at all.

Certainly packaging helps. I catch way more notice when Im dressed in  something fitted and cute/sexy with my hair carefully coifed and makeup just so, then I do in baggy sweats, no makeup, and my hair in a knot. Certainly there are those fortunate individuals that are sexy rolling out of bed, but what is it that makes them that way? Confidence again? or just good genetics?

For Me, I find a healthy mix of all of them. I take pains to emphasize my best features, wearing clothes of not. I present an image that, when I look in the mirror, is pleasing to the eye. A little bit of effort on my part makes me feel sexy.  That feeling equates to my overall feeling of confidence in ME. I care about people, I have a good career, and add a dash of ‘Im sexy and I know it,’ and rest assured, I’ll catch someones eye. Whether its the guy at the gas station by my house, my lovely lover Jay, a lesbian co-worker, or a random individuals path I cross briefly, I am sexy.

YOU are too. Being sexy does not relegate you to some amorphous group of brain-less sex dolls, vaguely Marilyn-esque. Some of the sexiest individuals I know are intelligent and educated (also a sexy quality now that I think about it.) Embracing YOUR sexy means raising the bar for women (or men) in your sphere. You beautify your environs and brighten peoples day. Give them lascivous thoughts that they may take home to their lovers and BOOM! More endorphins for everyone, making them happier overall – HEY! WORLD PEACE! Make love not war! (I crack myself up, lol)

But seriously, embrace your sexy! If you dont think you have any, think again…you  just have to find it.

The show, written by Eve Ensler in 1994, came from hundreds of interviews Eve conducted of women from 6 to 90, all orientations, all ethnicities, and all backgrounds; Sex workers, lesbians, mothers, women that had been molested as children, raped as adults, rape-camp survivors, and women that had been the victims of genital mutilation. Women that had never SEEN their vaginas, had no clue where their clit was, and had never experienced an orgasm. They were all asked the same questions, and once they started talking about their vaginas, they didnt want to stop, because no one had ever talked to them about their vaginas before.

From these interviews, Eve wrote the monologues. Some of them are based on one woman’s story; some of them are based on a theme that was reiterated through multiple interviews. There is a monologe about hair, one about birth, one about a Serbian rape camp survivor; one about tampons and ‘cold, metal duck-lips’ at the OB/GYN, and one about a vagina-loving man, and one about a lesbian sex-worker that was molested as a child.

The show spawned the international movement VDay.org – The goal: ending violence against women. Each year around Valentines Day (VDay), more than 5800 productions are held on college campuses interntationally to help raise awareness about the atrocities aflicted against women every day.  All the proceeds from these performances go to local battered women’s shelters in the communities.  They have spread money, education, and self-love to the women of the world, reaching places as far away as the Congo, Bosnia, and  Kosovo, and as close as post-Katrina New Orleans. The movement continues to grow.

This was my 4th show, and I never get tired of it. When women leave the show, they feel community and acceptance; They stand around and share their stories with the performers and friends. They have solidarity.

The 10th anniversary of the show was in New Orleans post-Katrina. Along with the massive outpouring of vagina art, activisim, lectures, celebrity-support, sharing, a parade through the French Quarter, and culminating in a star-studded performance of the show, they brought support to the ravaged city’s women with counseling and healing.

Become a Vagina Warrior! Love your vagina! It is as unique as you are. Men, dont feel excluded btw! There are growing numbers of vagina-loving men as sickened by rape and violence against their mothers, sisters, wives, lovers, and daughters that, like Jay, support the cause as well.

For more info on VDay or to find a production in your area to support this wonderful movement, check here.

Pussy Power!!

G

The series of 3 books titled ‘Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy’ by E.L. James, centers on a dominant male/submissive female dynamic, much like the one that many of us engage in on a daily basis. It’s the stereotypical Dom; bodice-ripping, spanking, and restraining the poor innocent female in the most erotic of ways. While kudos goes to the author for getting our collective BDSM lifestyle out in the public eye, thereby making it slowly more socially acceptable. My over-riding thought is this…

If it sounds so hot and turns you on so much you cant put it down to the exclusion of your mundane life, why not try being honest with your partner about the effect it is having on you and experience it FIRST HAND!!

Why cant they just say ‘Hey honey, Im reading this book and it really pushes my buttons. What do you think about trying out some things to make our boring, missionary, obligatory-on-holidays/birthdays sex life more fulfilling for us both.’ Instead of living vicariously through the imagination of the 40-year old British author. Why not try it out? Communicate what about it turns you on, and ask him/her to emulate it and experience it.

Im just saying…

Here is the link if your interested in checking it out.  I’ll probably get it just to show support for the lifestyle, however poorly imitated. After all, isnt that what we all yearn for? The opportunity to be honest about our ‘free-time’ activities and find acceptance? I’m certain once Ive read it I’ll post some sort of review for your titillation. But, until then.

G

I was getting ready to go, powdering my nose and brushing my hair. J came behind me and fisted his hand in my hair, to turn my head to the side and kiss me deeply. When we came up for air, a sharp snap across my bare ass came and I noticed the belt he held in his fist. Two more and I was pulling my own hair trying to wiggle out of reach of his thick, leather belt. Kissing me again, he abruptly turns and walk into the bedroom, dragging me along, caveman-esque. Pushing me down on the bed, he rummuged through my underwear drawer, settling on the new hot pink lace bra and boy shorts. Tossing them on the bed, he gave me my first instruction that set the tone for the rest of our evening.  “I dont care what you wear over it, but get dressed, and be sexy,” he said, and turned to readying himself for our errand.

Slowly and as sensuously as I was able, knowing I was being watched, I donned the chosen lingerie. A second skin of jeans, with a figure hugging, slinky, low-cut yoga hoodie found their way onto my body. I strolled into the living room, glossing my lips with shiny, pink lipgloss, ready to depart.

J handed me a notebook with the rules. Meticulously defining his desired behavior for the evening, with the consequences for failure. Aquiesence was immediate, and required little thought. I was a wet after just reading it.

“No cumming without permission.”

Strolling through the mall, my thoughts refused to linger on any topic but sex. Everywhere I looked, random passerby’s were assessed for appeal. Aquiring the purpose for our errand, and 2 pleasantly fragrant candles, we strolled back the way we came. We foraged around the lingerie department until we settled on a pair of fun, lacey boyshorts, and a barely there thong in my color.

“No touching my cock without permission”

Heading back to our nest, the anticipation was palpable and electric in the air. In the car, I struggled not to reach over and stoke his groin. We arrived, and he unlocked the door for me. Standing back to allow me to cross the threshold first, I heard “I expect a show of your new stuff,” and popped me on the ass. Strolling into the bedroom, I slowly began removing my clothing, while I listened to him popping the cork on the wine bottle and pouring a glass for me. He brought me the fragrant, golden beverage, and dropped his favorite heels at my feet without a word. The unspoken command was more powerful without a single spoken syllable.

“No touching your pussy without permission”

I strolled back into the living room in the black lacey boyshorts with the colorful peace signs scattered over them randomly, the hot pink bra, and the stilleto heels. I paced back and forth, turning, hips swaying, projecting raw sexuality for his approval. Patting the couch next to him, I settled in the appointed spot. His hand roamed my body as pleased him, until he finished whatever trivial task that consumed him at the moment.

“Punishment is 5 swats”

Abandoning his activity, he paced into the bedroom, and after a minute or two of self reflection and deep breaths, I followed. He was preparing the rope, running it through his fingers, and bonding with his instrument. Summoning me to him, he deftly tied my thighs together, forcing me to take tiny steps that made my ass shake for his pleasure. He sent me about a series of meneal tasks, designed to visually stimulate him, and put me into the desired head space. When I was too slow, a sharp, stinging slap from the paddle encouraged my pace. When they were completed, I was pushed down onto the bed.

“Your mission tonight is to make me orgasm like I never have before”

Loosening the bindings that hobbled me, J stroked my flushed body. He removed my miniscule lingerie, leaving me naked for his perusal. After kissing me deeply, he handed me the cherry red lipstick he favors to apply, while he began to resecure my limbs.

“I will take care of you”

Laying on my back, knees bent double, he secured my wrists to the outside aspect of my ankles, with the rope travelling under my ass to the other side. This had a dual purpose; To keep me from touching myself, and keeping my knees bent and spread to display my pussy for him.

“You will have to trust me completely”

Rolling me around as suited him, the blows came from a multitude of instruments. A paddle, a cane, his strong hand, and then my favorite…the dragon’s tongue. It licks at my pussy, engorging it with each blow. Sometimes its thuddy and heavy, and other times it stings against my thighs and hips. Teasing me. Torturing me.

“I know the limits of your body”

My whole body is aflame; Every nerve ending electrified. All I wanted was to be fucked and used. I wanted to be pounded into the mattress by his hard cock, the tip ramming into my cervix stimulating orgasm after orgasm.

After stroking his already rigid cock watching me moan and writhe around on the bed briefly, he manuevered himself between my thighs. The first slow penetration of the tip between my quivering lips was exquisite and perfect, wrenching a moan from between my glistening, cherry lips. Taking the rope that stretched from ankle to ankle under my ass, he slid it up to behind my knees, using it as a handle to keep my pussy in just the right spot. It kept me bent almost double giving him the added benefit of being able to see his cock sliding into my wet, flushed pussy. He started into a firm rhythm, withdrawing his cock almost to the very tip, then slamming it to the hilt, over and over again. Mercilessly he fucked me, with no mind to my pleasure, lost in his own. It was perfect. The orgasms built and flowed over me like a relentless tide. Feeling him almost imperceptably increase in rhythm and intensity, I knew his orgasm was not far off. Closing his eyes, leaning his head back and slamming into me as deeply as he could, he yelled his pleasure.

“I love you.”

He slowed to almost a pause, but then overcome with the sensation, started to thrust again. Unable to control his body, Jay slid in and out of me, our mingled cum providing added lubrication as my pussy milked his cock. He started to get hard again, the pleasure too much to deny. Riding my pussy, immersed in his own pleasure, he became more rigid with each stroke. “Fuck your cum slut!” escaped my red lips between my own moans of ecstasy. As his second orgasm overcame him, my own barrelled into my conscience with blinding intensity. Frozen momentarily at the pinnacle of human pleasure, we were a piece of art; Beautiful, erotic, sensual, sacred, immortal and eternal. A representation of millions of moments that have occured the world over.

Not to bad for a Monday night.

But when I come home, and a deep exhale releases me from those stressors, I want only one thing; Relajante…

I strip off the trappings of my profession one at a time while I pour my ritualistic glass of wine. The trail left behind me of hemostats and pens; scrubs and stethoscopes, terminate with the classic black thong and bra. Upon entering our bathroom covered with dry erase warm fuzzies, I notice a light California-blue ocean scented candle, and a card. His thoughts of love, appreciation, and h0pe were expressed within, and sealed with a kiss. Performing our morning ablutions to the intricate strains of the Dead felt soothingly normal. Rinsing away the filth that is my vocation some days with fragrant body wash, a sharp blade, and blisteringly hot water eased my aching body. Toweling down, sipping my wine and taking long, slow, contemplative drags on my smoke further dulled my mind from the days stress. Sunshine through the sky light set my hair ablaze as I passed beneath it on my way to our cave.

Settling on my middle of the bed, I sipped my wine completely zoned out. My face flushed was flushed and my body in need. I was particularly horny this morning, and I wanted release. Anticipation chased down every nerve like lightening at a cellular level. I leaned over him to put down my glass and he continued my momentum to settle my thighs on either side of his muscled torso. At his direction, I dipped my finger in the golden wine, and after he had shimmied his body down through the arch formed by my legs, dripped a few drops on my swollen clit. His tongue was quick to save my pussy from the chilled liquid and replace it with the moist heat of his breath.  With unerring accuracy, he flicked my clit, traced my lips around and back to the Alpha and the Omega. He repeated the loop until my body uncontrollably started to grind deeper into his mouth. My long, already-fatigued legs quivered and shook as the orgasm built in speed and intensity. Lifting my ass up at the last moment before climax, I feel a firm, sharp collision between his strong hand and my ass. The strikes continued mercilessly until I settled my self into my previous position, straddling his face.  Repeatedly I tried to escape the orgasm, knowing the longer I held it in check, the more mind-blowing the reward. Each time I found only the slight pain, and slight comfort of his hand smacking my ass.

Finally, he gave consent to me sliding down his body, the lips of my wet pussy leaving a happy trail in its wake. The pebble of my clit found the  curves and muscles of his body grinding into every spot that offered stimulation. Once I had quivered and slid my body low enough, my warm mouth closed around his cock, sliding down to the base. My tongue laved back and forth over his balls, while my breaths were shallow but hot. Fisting his hands in my hair, he repeatedly slammed my mouth down on his stiff erection. I immersed myself in the simple joy of worshipping his cock.

Moments later,”I want you to fuck me,” came whispered from my breathless mouth.

I was gently thrown back supine with a girly squeak of surprise. My hands were pinned and my legs wrapped around his waist, urging each thrust to its utmost depth. Varying his rhythm and angle to keep me poised on the brink of ecstasy, his every sense tuned to my body and his.

I was flipped around into a few more positions, searching now for the pinnacle of joy. His thrusts deeper and with a firm purpose, the orgasms came uncontrollably. One after the other, almost with every thrust and parry. At the last moment, kissing each other wherever we could reach with our tongues, the exclamation of release couldnt be halted by law or logic. The simple, yet complete joining of 2 bodies in perfect unison exactly what I needed and craved.

Shaking and sweating, I curled up against his flushed chest to gather my senses and control of my facilties.

I finally achieved it.

Relajante.

G

So that being said, Im working on a piece. A fairly massive undertaking that will end up being a definite wall centerpiece. Its a multi-panel figure study of the body, in all its shapes, sizes, curves, hair, beauty, light and shadow. I have plenty (lol..understatement of the year) of pictures of my ass in an number of different positions. But Im desperately lacking other genders, ages, positons, and sizes. Tattoos, birthmarks, scars…all are part of who you are and are beautiful!

The six panels will focus on a different part of the body: Arm/hands, Legs/feet, Abdomens (everything from a hairy beer gut to a big pregnant belly to well-chiseled abs), Asses, Breasts, and Genetalia. For all of the above…the more variety of ages and genders in unique positions would be gratefully recieved!

So, send me your snapshots, or professionally photographed parts! Your identity will remain confidential, and you’ll be posing for a work of art! Im posting a few of my sketches to give you an example of my ability. This piece has awesome potential, so I hope you will consider contributing.

Pretty Please?

xo
G

I am having to find (from multiple locations) all our pics. So, be patient…but the beginnings are there! )

G