Submission, Service, And Protocol

The other day we viewed a series of videos at the Kink Academy about submission, service, and protocol. Still discovering the ins and outs of BDSM we were hungry to educate ourselves about the more subtle interactions of kink.

The videos we watched presented by Princess Kali and Sarah Sloane, introduced Georgia and I to the basic elements of submission, service, and protocol. Delivering the information in a relaxed manner both highlighted the benefits as well as the important aspects of each subject.

After viewing those videos and deliberating how the three items were related to each other, we decided that adding them to our kinky play was the next logical step. Duh !

We considered how we service each other, yes, certainly I may top, and she may bottom,  but we both have a need to please each other. Service between us manifests itself in different forms. As the service to each other is given not only when we play with each other sexually, but the service we provide each other in our daily lives is just as erotic. Example, its very sweet when she thoughtfully gets me coffee, or I massage her back when she doesnt expect it.

The act of service leads to submission, depending on how the kinky scene might evolve either one of us could submit to each other. Her standing in front of me for inspection, or a striptease for me. Or myself being thrown to the bed, my hands roughly bound, while she then strides across my face, taking my hair, using me for her own quick orgasmic relief.

As we have found by watching the protocol video, the tone of voice we use with each other is very relevant. If we are both in a sensual giving space our voices will reflect that, at the same time if we are perhaps role playing and I am being very strict, I have to commit to that strict tone of behavior. Allowing yourself and your partner the ability to improvise or communicate if something is uncomfortable or an unplanned emergency happens. Try to maintain the tone to deal with it.

Be practical, be respectful of each others comfort and limits, have a system worked out ahead of time to handle surprises. You might be surprised how much “hurt so good” fun you can have with your partner if, say, the tip of their nose needs itched and their hands are tied. Keeping the interaction moving forward, take the unexpected and use it to your advantage. Sex is fun, keep it fresh that way by discovering how you can apply some submission, service, and protocol to your next bout of zesty lovemaking.

~Jay