Defining Sexy

Ive been pondering the question of whatmakes someone sexy lately. Is it all in the presentation? You dress sexy – put forth effort into your looks and BAM! Your sexy… Is it some pheremone that some people’s bodies produce more of than others? Or is it that exuded confidence in yourself that draws people to you? Or some strange arcane combination of all of the above. My best friend told me once that I “oozed sexy from my very pores’ and just MADE people think of sex. I was a serious ugly duckling/late bloomer so I laughed at the time and told her she was crazy and just had a girl crush, but it made me think.

Biologically we all have pheremones. The are excreted by our bodies for a number of reasons, sex being the pertinent situation.

‘A pheromone (from Greek φέρω phero “to bear” + hormone from Greek ὁρμή – “impetus”) is a secreted or excreted chemical factor that triggers a social response in members of the same species. Pheromones are chemicals capable of acting outside the body of the secreting individual to impact the behavior of the receiving individual.[1] There are alarm pheromones, food trail pheromones, sex pheromones, and many others that affect behavior or physiology.’

If you ask men (which I did, lol) or pick up that latest issue of Cosmo, confidence is frequently the ‘most sexy attribute a woman can possess.’ The same holds true for men in my opinion. If you strut into a room like you own it, you will instantly catch the ey of several people in the room, even if your presentation (read, looks) matters little. But, if the same person walks into a room, not making eye contact and assuming the wall flower position, the will barely gain notice at all.

Certainly packaging helps. I catch way more notice when Im dressed in  something fitted and cute/sexy with my hair carefully coifed and makeup just so, then I do in baggy sweats, no makeup, and my hair in a knot. Certainly there are those fortunate individuals that are sexy rolling out of bed, but what is it that makes them that way? Confidence again? or just good genetics?

For Me, I find a healthy mix of all of them. I take pains to emphasize my best features, wearing clothes of not. I present an image that, when I look in the mirror, is pleasing to the eye. A little bit of effort on my part makes me feel sexy.  That feeling equates to my overall feeling of confidence in ME. I care about people, I have a good career, and add a dash of ‘Im sexy and I know it,’ and rest assured, I’ll catch someones eye. Whether its the guy at the gas station by my house, my lovely lover Jay, a lesbian co-worker, or a random individuals path I cross briefly, I am sexy.

YOU are too. Being sexy does not relegate you to some amorphous group of brain-less sex dolls, vaguely Marilyn-esque. Some of the sexiest individuals I know are intelligent and educated (also a sexy quality now that I think about it.) Embracing YOUR sexy means raising the bar for women (or men) in your sphere. You beautify your environs and brighten peoples day. Give them lascivous thoughts that they may take home to their lovers and BOOM! More endorphins for everyone, making them happier overall – HEY! WORLD PEACE! Make love not war! (I crack myself up, lol)

But seriously, embrace your sexy! If you dont think you have any, think again…you  just have to find it.

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